FWD:Australian Bricklayer's Accident Report

>> Australian Bricklayer's Accident Report
>> Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's
>> accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian
>> equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.
>>
>> This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a *Darwin
>> Award
>>
>>
>>
>> Dear Sir,
>>
>> I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
>> Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause
>> of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust
>> the following details will be sufficient...
>> I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
>> alone on the roof of a new six-story building.
>> When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over
>> which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of
>> 500lbs.
>> Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a
>> barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the
>> building on the sixth floor.
>> Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out
>> and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
>> holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
>>
>> You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh
>> 135lbs.
>>
>> Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
>> proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
>> In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
>> proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the
>> fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed
>> in section 3 of the accident report form.
>>
>> Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
>> the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
>> Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
>> able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience
>> pain.
>>
>> At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
>> ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
>> of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.
>> I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid
>> descent, down the side of the building.
>>
>>
>>
>> In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
>> accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
>> lacerations of my legs and lower body Here my luck began to change
>> slightly.
>> The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my
>> injuries
>> when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae
>> were
>> cracked.
>>
>> I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
>> pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind
>> and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin
>> its
>> journey back down onto me.
>> This explains the two broken legs.
>>
>> I hope this answers your inquiry.
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